(( CHAPTER 17, THE DESERT ))
"Let's walk for a bit." Jacob suggested.
It was late again, she could see, though she didn't know if that meant anything anymore. The sun was still up, but it was rapidly fading in the west. The entire landscape had an eerie stillness to it, as though now that she was aware she controlled it utterly, it dare not change without her permission.
"It's been a long day." she said calmly, by way of objection. "Don't you want to rest?" In truth, she was burning with questions and the need to talk to someone sane about what had just happened. Given his behavior in the immediate past coupled with the fact that he heard a voice in his head, this person was not logically Jacob, but she still trusted him.
"No, I don't. And I don't think you do either." If he knew her thoughts, he did not betray this fact.
"Okay, we'll walk." she assented. Jacob immediately began his trek to the east, and Alyssa walked alongside him.
For a while, nothing was said. The night's first few stars were beginning to come out. The slight breeze cooled them, slightly too much for comfort. Distantly, crickets began to chirp. The desert had her permission to change, it seemed.
"How can all this be in my head?" she asked, more to herself than anyone else.
Jacob decided to answer her anyway. It had been his idea to walk, he obviously had some agenda, and thus was going to speak when she seemed ready. Questions meant readiness, so he shrugged and added "You notice all the detail because you're thinking about the detail. If you didn't, it probably wouldn't be there. Think of when you fought, can you remember any other details, or did the world just grey out for a bit?"
She nodded and sighed. "I suppose so. But you could say that for anything you weren't paying attention to. I don't like it. I want to think that Craig's a lunatic, but clearly he believed it, and the monks believed him. If it's a dream, what's it all mean?"
"What do any dreams mean?" Jacob replied. "It's the same as asking what life means. Sure, dreams have symbols and sometimes tell you about the outside world, but most of the time, it's just a story you tell yourself."
"One hell of a story." she shook her head. Looking over at him, she added "You're taking this well. I mean, for potentially being a figment of my imagination."
He shrugged. "It doesn't really change anything. Whether or not it's been real all along or just some fever dream, it's all the same to me. I've still got to do what I have to do. I look out for you, Alyssa. I guess Craig would say that I'm a symbol for your guardian." his face remained neutral. "I'd like to think he's not your only center of reason, though. If he was, you're quite insane."
"You're a much better center of reason." she said to him. She couldn't erase the image of Craig's death from her mind. "You did what you had to in there." she said. "You did what I couldn't. If Craig was right and this is all my dream, then the elder was right too, and I was a coward to have someone else kill for me."
"Not a coward." he offered. "Just stubborn."
They walked in silence for a bit further, Alyssa occasionally glancing to the sky, trying to see if it changed when she wasn't looking, trying to identify constellations. If she'd known any, it would have made things easier, but she supposed she could simply be dreaming that she knew them. It wouldn't prove anything one way or another. Nothing would, she realized, except for speaking the word that Craig had taught her. That would settle things in a rather too definitive way.
She pushed the thoughts aside, determined to simply enjoy the voyage. How many times had this happened, she wondered. How many times had she been alongside Jacob while they traveled. It was a relaxing situation. It always had been. He was spot on about his protector status - she always felt safe around him.
"Why did you ask to walk with me?" she finally asked him.
He smiled. "I don't have my car here. Otherwise we could ride. I just wanted to travel together - no matter the method - one last time, before whatever happens, happens."
"Then you believe it."
Jacob nodded. "I do. I told you a long time ago that I thought Savant was speaking of you in the prophecy. Craig's reasoning makes sense, and since you yourself ruled out godhood, dreaming is the only other alternative."
She shook her head. She wanted to believe Craig's words, but if she accepted them fully than she'd done a terrible thing back in the monastery. What if he'd been right not only about her status, but about the inevitability of being caught in the darkness?
"What do we do next? How much time do we have?" she finally managed.
"We don't have much time, that I know." Jacob seemed half frustrated, half guilty. "Craig was right about me being a spy, and I hadn't even considered it. I knew what the Voice spoke, but it was also listening through me." he shook his head. "They know who you are now. I don't know if that's strengthened them or weakened them, but they're impatient now. If the dream ends, so do they, and they don't want that. They'll try to capture you."
She looked back at him. "What about you? What about everyone I care about? Sure, getting out of bed gets rid of the bad guys, but what about the rest of you?"
He shrugged. "The wording of the prophecy. I guess it's your only choice. The dream can't go on forever. I, for one, would rather go down fighting. And I'd rather do so alongside you, so you're stuck with me for as long as this lasts."
"I won't forget." she swore, then, finally accepting what Craig had told her. She was the Dreamer. "I won't let it happen."
The world began a slight familiar blurring, and an unnatural sound could be heard, a long way off. Jacob and Alyssa exchanged glances. "The last attack is starting." the former offered. "I think it's time to head back to the chamber."
"How?" she asked. "The last doorway I saw was way back at the shack. Want to start walking again?"
She shook his head, an amused smile crossing his features. "Sometimes it takes you a very long while to catch on. Remember when you figured out the door trick? It works on any door. Even doors you make up."
She felt ashamed, then, that she hadn't thought of the idea earlier. She sifted through chaos, the motions coming to her naturally now, and a wooden door of the same size and material as the bookcase appeared in the desert before her. She changed the flow of her thoughts, then, imagining the lobby of the chamber, its lights, the disorganization of the books Savant had left there, the way the hallways branched off of it, the-
The doorway burst open violently, and a body fell through backwards. Through the opening Alyssa could see the lobby, but it was not as she pictured it. The lights had been mostly smashed, though one was flickering on and off. A haze of smoke obscured what little visibility remained, but she could tell that something had gone horribly wrong. Figures that were not humans dodged through the smoke, and some of those figures seemed to be made of smoke themselves.
The Limbless Sightless whose true name was John Slayton grinned back at them through the door, his extended hand clearly what had propelled the body through the door.
"Slayton!" she ordered. "Stop what you are doing."
It opened its mouth, and a blackness made of sound poured forth. "I AM NAMELESS NOW, DREAMER. YOUR BINDING HAS NO MEANING." The shrunken sockets which had been empty now blazed with the light of disturbed coals, and the missing limb had been replaced with Chaos.
The body on the ground got up. Richard, Alyssa had a second to realize before he drew his gun and started shooting. Jacob already had his gun out, and thus began his volley a moment before. The bullets tore flesh, and the monstrosity which had once, long ago in days forgotten, been human. They did no other damage, though, and no blood or ichor slipped through the holes the bullets had made.
Alyssa ran forward and leaped through the door, no disorientation whatsoever accompanying the transition. She was absolutely certain it would take her where she wanted to go, after all. She reached out with her mind - with her will - and pushed the Sightless away the same way it had done to Jacob. Its body flew to the other side of the lobby, crashing hard against the wall, but it clearly had sustained no damage.
Shadowy figures in the smoke turned at her entry and started toward her. Another Sightless, this one missing the enhancements of its brother, turned the corner of one of the hallways. She could hear the beating of uncountable harpy wings.
"Enough." she said, spreading her will through her voice. They were not there, she insisted mentally. Not. There.
It wasn't even reaching into chaos to snuff the shadow that the Soldiers were sustained by that she was doing now. She was simply denying their existence, channeling the raw power of her will against them.
The shadows were gone when she relaxed her focus. The Sightless, too, had vanished. She still heard the wings of harpies, though, and the creature who had once been John Slayton remained before her.
"FOOL." it uttered, before she sent her will upon it, crushing it with all her mind. The frail body cracked as it was pushed upon, splintering along the fault lines which had been carved into its flesh. The embers in its eyes died. The limb of Chaos began to seep into the floor below, until she brought Order to it and made it vanish.
Jacob and Richard stepped through the door, then, weapons drawn. There were no more enemies there, though Alyssa knew where there would be others.
"Where to next?" Jacob asked.
Alyssa's mind raced. They'd come back, she thought, because she had to tell Yael about what she'd learned. She'd wanted to gain perspective, but now was too late. Now she had to settle for the secrets that Craig had learned long ago.
"Savant." she said. The book of prophecy he'd written this time was almost certainly the same as the one Craig had destroyed, except that it applied to her. Whatever was in it, she desperately needed to know.
Her companions needed no further instructions. Jacob led the way and Richard brought up the rear, Alyssa between them as though she needed to be protected. Harpies flew in their midst, ignoring them, but Alyssa willed them away regardless each time she saw them. Was this really the sort of thing which inhabited her mind? Horrors such as these lurked within her - if she were indeed the dreamer, then they were a part of her too. She decided not to dwell on it too much. If she gave it too much credence, they would gain power as a result. That must have been what Craig had meant when he said that her knowledge of their nature might embolden her enemies.
They entered the library, where Savant was fighting with a Soldier. Several Sightless, apparently frozen in place, decorated the room already. Savant was making strange motions with his hands that were impossible for even her to trace, and the Soldier was making dodging motions, deftly moving as though to avoid some projectile which neither of them could see.
Alyssa had no time for this, and thus the Soldier was gone as well as his Sightless companions.
Savant looked over to her, and his entire expression collapsed. "You came." he said, and Alyssa could not tell whether he was experiencing utmost sorrow or joy. "You're here for the book."
She could only nod, and he returned it. Slowly, carefully, as though any misstep could invite failure, he walked to his working table and retrieved it. He turned to her.
"This book contains everything. When I finished it, I knew everything. I knew your true nature, the nature of all things, because the book speaks of it. I know the truth - the Dream cannot last. If you read the book, you will end the dream."
Alyssa despaired. "I came here to save my friends! Is there no other way? I don't want to end everything."
"The dream is not stable. It is as it is written, the center cannot hold. The Unknown and Unknowable assault us. Please, Alyssa. Please, read the book and end it."
"Will I remember?" she asked him. "At least tell me that I will remember."
"It is up to you." Savant said with merciless truth. "But I don't think you would forget us." he held the book out to her. "You are not the first dreamer, nor the last. This book contains all the secrets of the dreamers, their every path. It is that which Craig feared, to learn the truth about himself, about you. And it is this which will make me forget. If I give you this book, I forget everything." he continued holding it, offering it to her.
"Once I read it, I will be back in the real world?"
Savant shook his head. "You can never truly know if you are dreaming or not. Once you start reading, do not stop for anyone or anything. The very world will come apart around you, you will be unmade and remade, and everything will transform. Whether you emerge in your world or but another layer of dream, is something you can never know."
"Thank you Savant." she said, and took the book.
"You're welcome." he replied faintly, before the knowledge left his eyes. He sat down in his chair, hard.
She turned to Richard. "Thank you, Richard. I will not forget you." Richard responded with a simple nod.
She faced Jacob. "Thank you, Jacob. For everything." Leaning forward, she gave him a kiss, brief but meaningful, on his lips. "I swore I would not forget."
Jacob made no response, and she had expected none.
She closed her eyes, cleared her mind, opened her eyes, and opened the book.
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